I realised today, or yesterday, who would know all this complicated stuff about what day and date it is, that I am really, really horrible in the afternoon, from 5 to 7. Today I had one of my famous ‘I want to have what I want and I have to have it now’ things. People who know about this, know how it looks like. Especially with food. I have not been craving anything in these three weeks, but today I had this terrible shaky thing that usually happened only when I was in a really bad shape, after not sleeping or consuming forbidden ingredients. So I stuffed myself with smooth chocolatey thingies and felt better for a while. 

Today we had a guy come over to talk about leadership, earlier today, and we had a game to play, let’s call it a game for now. It went like this: divide into groups and choose a leader, write a list of his good and bad qualities. My group chose me and I had to present my bad qualities and say how I can fix them, or deal with them somehow. It was a great game, and I know a bit more about who I am and how I act. The worst ones, that all of my dear and near friends know about, are being impatient, stubborn and aggressive. Others I will not reveal, maybe if you ask me personally or maybe you already know. I mean, I knew all these things before, and kind of accepted them as a part of my personality, but to be put in a position to observe these qualities in this way and have the opportunity to become more aware of them and even work in a direction to change them, or even just diminish them. Wow. It scares me shitless. Is this who I am? Do these qualities make me who I am? Will I be someone else if I do not hold on to them? Damn, this crap is heavy. I made you think there for a moment. Yes? It is actually still my very crappy time of day, so I am all upset about letting go some of my stinky crap, but I will manage. Today it is the 16^th of August and it is Sv. Roko in Sutivan, on Brač. It makes me reminiscent of friends, lovers, partners, alcohol and family. And also of getting out of a scheme or a pattern, because this will be the first ever time in my life to not be there. In 18 years. God, I am old. I miss you all, guys, girls, friends and inbetweens (in every sense). And even though I have made a lot of friends and am working and having what might be one of the most important periods of my young life, a piece of my heart is with you, and home. And I am not PMS-ing. Lots of love to my friends, family and important figures in life, you know who you are.

P.S. I must have forgotten to add an extra 10 years to my life. Oh, well.