Such a heavy day. Is it not for you as well? Usually I put all my crap out in the open, more or less, but now it is kept inside. And it is pretty hard to keep it in, but it is working. More or less. Did you know, or were you aware that your every thought and especially your words influence everything and everyone around you? You are standing in the tram, going home, and you are thinking about someone, the same thought circling in your head, that includes anger towards someone, criticism, anything like that. Do you not see that this is what you glow on the outside? Just by being angry in the tram, you are spreading negative energy. If you do not believe in in such a thing as spreading negative energy, then just imagine: does your smile make other people smile? And does your dark face make other people feel dark as well?

I am not being very eloquent, but you know what I mean. What I want to say is crap inside – crap outside. Get that smile on your face, and make others happy, if you do that consequently they will keep a smile on your face. I am saying all this to myself, just aloud, if you want to eavesdrop, it is your choice, if you do not want to listen close your ears, or exit the page.

The thing is that sometimes it is really hard to accept other people, you think you are better than someone, and you see from your own perspective the mistakes of the other person. At the same time you do not see your own mistakes. You just see the other person. And you want to change him, as if this person was a doll and you get the opportunity to change its clothes and cut its hair. Oh, if only one could do that!  You want to make people more responsible, or maybe you want to make them less responsible, because they get on your nerves being all perfect and that. You want people to listen to your advice, and at the same time you have a hard time listening to someone else’s advice. Oh my, oh my. Sometimes it is such a burden to be angry, and to know that you are angry and to wish that you are not, but not to be able to help yourself. You just want to get out of it. NOW! But how? I will answer, in what I think, or what I have heard might be a solution. A solution to a problem is always there, because otherwise there would be no question, if there was not an answer. The answer here is to stay in this state, indulge your anger, do not resist it. Experience it fully. Drown in it. And you will become more aware of its feeling, consequence, everything. When you let go, it will let you go. If you keep resisting it, that is how long you will be tied down by it. Release. Let go. Immerse in it, do not run away.

The sun just came out, and I feel my anger going from my head towards my heart, and feeling it as a little bit of poison in there, slowly slowly dissolving as if it was being washed with water.

I wish you a beautiful day. I am going to go and sing and play the guitar now.