What does it mean to live a “stable” life? Having a routine, a stable income, a steady partner? How do you measure that?

Here I am, in Zadar. I got most of the technicalities finished. Enrolled in Uni, apartment set, job acquired. A few people around. Everything I wanted is just there. Or just here. And it is good, almost boringly so. But fear not, you think I can get bored? Nevah! My classes did not start yet, but my job did. It feels good to feel useful for myself and others. Funny thing, this with the job, I was kind of surprised to get money for it. I have been volunteering for so long that it seems all is volunteer work. So, yes, on the outside everything is settled, or getting settled, everything is under control (I don’t like the expression, but I mean to say that all is going my way, or the way I intended it to be). Even a boyfriend. Yes, a boyfriend; the boyfriend.

Everything that was making my life complicated (or rather the image of my life I was having) is currently away, or I am away from it. I cannot remember explaining why Zadar, and why all this, so here goes: I wanted to move away from all the things and people that were making huge impressions on me, I wanted to be alone. It is not that I blame the place, the people or the circumstances, I just realised that too much was going on for me and I needed a space of my own. Where I am queen of my kingdom, and my kingdom is mySelf. You might think – running away. And yes, in a way, running away. Or getting a more clear view from a distance. I miss the feeling of having mine. Having a flat, a cat, a lover and friends, feeling at home, secure. But I will get it here as well. Now, I am still a tourist, but will soon be totally home. This place will be mine. These people will be people I will miss sometimes in the future, as well as I am missing Iceland. 

The only thing that is constant is change.

I get it, do you?