Mumbai na maharatiju (jeziku države Maharashtre), ilitiga Bombay (engleski naziv). Veliki grad. Ljeto je, pa je vruće. Vruće i vlaga. Grad uz more. More je bolje za gledanje u daljinu, ili osluškivanje valova, nego za kupanje. Smeđe je boje, pa ga je bolje gledati po mraku…dok se svjetla grada u njemu ogledaju.

Kao i obično, odmah sam se uštekala na struju grada i vibre. U društvu sam zabave i inteligencije, ne fali im tema.

Mumbai (sad sam tu, pa koristim lokalno ime, bolje nego od ovih bivših im robovlasnika) je velik. Mumbai je moderan. Mumbai je prepun prilika. Mumbai je car. Mumbai je indijski zmijski car. Rekla bih da je ovo grad u kojem treba biti.

Došla sam u detektivskom ruhu, pod izlikom zabave. Detektivski poslić je u tijeku, a zabava je glavna. Danas sam kuhala. Jesam li spomenula da kuham najbolje na svijetu? Ono, nije da se hvalim, ali za ozbiljno: da. Ako si u prilici da me dobiješ na par sati, gurni me u svoju kuhinju ili se pozovi kod mene na papicu.

Jesam li spomenula da je vruće? Nisam se naviknula još. Stalno je vruće, nepodnošljivo. Nema zraka, nema daška. A ako ima, onda je propuh koji je umjetan (od ventilatora ili otvorenih prozora) i vruć. Vruće je.

Nije li to smiješno, kako zimi stalno govorimo: a je danas hladno. A ljeti: uh, kako je vruće. Kad dođem doma, više neću govoriti kako je vruće, doma mi nikad nije bilo ovako vruće, nikad. Jesam li zaboravila spomenuti da je jako vruće?

Osim toga što mi je vruće, previše uživam da bih razmišljala. Mogu vam nabrojati što sam sve jela i gdje sam sve bila ovih dana, ali to bi značilo da se pretvaram u turistički vodič, a to nećemo nikako.

Sad se bacamo na dilemu, pitanja i razmatranje. Živjeti u Indiji vs. živjeti u Hrvatskoj. Za mene, ne za tebe. Kako da se sad to odluči? Mogu napraviti popis pluseva i minusa za obe zemlje. Ali to nije nikad upalilo.
Ono što zasigurno znam sada je da je krajnje vrijeme da se smislim i počnem zarađivati, biti malo stabilnija u tom smislu. No, možda je i to samo zamisao, ali čini mi se, snažno, da je to to.

Fakultet nisam završila i sada sam si to toliko zakomplicirala, da su šanse da skoro diplomiram vrlo male ili nikakve. Zasada! Imam neke vještine i znanja, ali dosta je sve to raznoliko. I iako sam odlična u svemu što radim, ne znam da li je to dovoljno za nekoga da me zaposli. Iskreno, ni sama nisam sigurna što bih radila. Radila bih sve. Najradije bih radila thetu, a ovo sve drugo ta tlane, po potrebi. I naravno, volontirala za Art of living.

Kako će se svemir odlučiti da mi to sve pospoji, ne znam, ali sigurna sam da idem glavom kroz zid dok ne uspije. Stvarno hoću da mi bude dobro. Dobro mi je i sada, ali ono s čime se godinama krpam malo kod roditelja, malo kod prijatelja, malo sama – toga mi je zbilja dosta, i od sada nadalje (a već i neko vrijeme sada) ću napraviti SVE što je u mojoj moći da se to posloži. Značilo to živjeti u Indiji, Hrvatskoj ili Tanzaniji (baš bih voljela i tamo otići jednog lijepog dana). Da se mogu zaletjeti do Novog Zelanda na kavu i biti prva koja će otići na Mars.

Često smo mi duhovnjaci, iako ne znam uopće tko bi to sve bio tko spada u tu kategoriju, okrenuti od materijalnog. Znam da mi ne treba ništa, postoji ta odlijepljenost od “potrebe” za stvarima iz čiste želje. Radi praktičnosti, neke stvari nije loše imati. Npr. cipele, ipod, torbu itd. No, tko je rekao da duhovnost i bogatstvo ne idu skupa? Samo ako sam siromašna i odlijepljena od materijalnog svijeta, tada sam duhovna. Ma, sranje, kažem ti, sra-nje! Imaj sve, budi nevezan.

Još uvijek mi je vruće, a usto pijem i vrući zeleni čaj, pa se idem ohladiti ‘hladnom’ vodom iz pipe. Čujemo se uskoro kad budem nazad u Ashramu, s cjelovitim reportom Mumbajške avanturice.

Na kraju, štogod odlučiš, Bog ima za tebe plan koji možda nije u skladu s onim što ti misliš da je za tebe. Ti samo sjedi, opusti se i pričekaj malo da vidiš koji je bio plan. Ako želiš, reci da, budi otvoren/a da upravo sada primiš onoliko bezuvjetne božanske ljubavi i podrške koliko si spreman/na primiti. Priprema…Pozor…Kreni!

____________________________________

Mumbai in Maharathi (the language of the state of Maharashtra), or Bombay (the English name) is a big city. It is summer and therefor it is hot . Hot and humid. A coastal city. The sea is good to be looked at from a distance, or listen to the waves splashing than to swim in. It is brown of color, so better to be enjoyed at night…while the lights of the city are reflected in it.

As per usual, I instantly got tuned in the melody and vibe of the city. My company is all fun and intellect, and does not lack in chatting topics.

Mumbai (being here I will be using the local name, I find it more suitable than the one coming from the former enslaver) is big. Mumbai is modern. Mumbai is full of opportunities. Mumbai is the king. Mumbai is the Indian Serpent King. I would say that this is the place to be.

I came as a bit of a detective, under the pretence of fun. The detective work is being done on its own, and the fun has become first priority.
I cooked today. Have I mentioned yet how I am the best cook ever? It is not like I am bragging about it, it is just the truth. If you get an opportunity, get me to cook for you.

Have I mentioned how hot it is? I am not used to it yet. It is constantly hot. There is no air, no breeze. And if there is, than we are talking about artificial wind being produced by ventilators or open windows in trains/cars and the air is hot. It is hot.

Does it not seem silly how we keep stating the obvious about the weather? In the winter we say: it is very cold today. In the summer: oooh, it is such a hot day today. After my return to Croatia, I will never again say I am hot, I have never been so hot before, never. Have I forgot to mention about how hot I am?

Except being hot, I am truly enjoying myself. I am being pampered incessantly. I can enumerate places I visited and food I had, but that would mean the blog becoming a tourist guide of sorts, which it is not.

Let us move on to other topics, dilemmas, questions and considerations. Living in India vs. living in Croatia. For me, not you, of course. How to make that decision? I can make a list with pros and cons, but that never worked for anybody.
The only thing I am currently certain of is that it was about time to get myself together and start earning some serious cash, at least be a bit more stable in that area. Maybe this is also just another thought pattern, but it strongly feels like being seriously important.

I did not finish University and right now the situation is made too complicated to be considered. At this point in time. I have some skills and knowledge, but it is all pretty random. Even though I am good at a lot of things, I do not know if that is enough to be hired by someone. Honestly, I myself have no idea what to do. I would like to do everything. Firstly Theta healing, and then all the other stuff on the side. And volunteer for Art of living, of course.

How the universe has decided to connect the dots, I do not know, but I am sure I am not giving up until it happens. Whether here in India, or in Croatia, or Tanzania (would really like to go there one day). So I have the liberty of stopping by New Zealand for a cup of tea and be the first to go to Mars.

We, spiritual folk, even though I have no idea who all would be in that category, are often turned away from materialism. I know I need nothing, and there is that feeling of detachment from the “need to own” out of desire. The practicality of it is to own a couple of things, I guess. Like shoes, ipod, hand bag etc. But who said that spirituality and materialism do not go together? Only if I am poor and detached from the material world, am I spiritual. Bull, I tell you – bull****! Have all, yet be dispassionate about it.

It is still very hot, and I am having hot green tea, so I will go for a “cold” shower. We    will talk as soon as I return to the Ashram, I will give you a full report of my Mumbai adventurous ventures.

In the end, whatever you decide, God has a plan that might not be aligned with what you think should happen for you. You just sit, relax and wait to see what the plan was. If you wish, say yes and be open to receive as much unconditional love and support as you can take. Ready? Steady. Go!