20 minuta do moje prve hammam masaže. Čilam pored bazena. Vani je nekih 20 stupnjeva i pušika vjetrić, ali smo gore visoko u planini, pa je sunce jako. Nema zime.

Gdje sam se to našla? Na mjestu koje se zove Dollenberg, hotel s 5 zvjezdica usred Crne Šume. Idem sad nabacit tursku masažu, a poslije toga zaključiti dan s još par sastanaka, strateškog planiranja i sličnih stvari koje ljudi rade kad rade u timu. Jutro je počelo sa sastančenjem, dan se razbio s chillanjem, a završava sa zaključcima. Neloše. I zasluženo.

Prije tjedan dana smo zaključili 3. konferenciju na temu etičnosti i leadershipa u kontekstu sporta. Možda neke to baš ne zanima, što je to s čim se bavim, između mnogo toga, ali svejedno ću vam reći, jer je zabavno i obogaćuje mi život profesionalno i duhovno.

WSELS.ORG
Konferencija na gore navedenu temu održala se u kući nogometa, FIFA-i (fifi? hihi). Bilo je jedno 60ak speakera (govornika), i više od 200 sudionika. Cijeli jedan dan se razglabalo na temu kako je sport postao / bio i ostao biznis, što biznis može naučiti od sporta i kako sport upotrijebiti za promjene na bolje u svijetu općenito i još par dobrih tema. Našlo se tu svakakvih faca, većih i manjih, i srednjih, za to treba kliknut na link od naslova i ubaciti se u štivo i klikanje po stranici. Koja je moja uloga u svemu ovome? Ja sam techie, tehnička podrška, urednik tekstova za web i koordinator, te content manager i izvršna moć iza društvenih medija. I koješta drugo.

Kako me profesionalno obogaćuje biti dijelom ovog tima? To što smo mali tim koji uvijek puca na nemoguće misije i dostiže ih sve, i to na zavidnom nivou.

Kako duhovno? Jednako tako što smo mali tim i pucamo na nemoguće. I postižemo sve što zamislimo. Ajde, veliku većinu. Kako rastem u svemu ovom? Tako što nije lako. Malo nas je, posla puno, izvedba nam nije najprofesionalnija, ali rezultati zato izvan prosječno profesionalni.

Nema toga što ne možemo. A isto tako ne skačemo u preduboke vode,  već tik do, izazova radi.

Sve ovo skupa je pod nemalo važnom dirigentskom palicom, ili radije usmjeravanjem Sri Sri Ravi Shankara, nekima poznatom kao Guruji, a meni kao moj guru.

Prve godine sam nakon samo jedne konferencije plakala od umora, druge godine, nakon ni manje ni više nego tri konferencije za redom, bila samo malo umorna, te nakon malo odmora se ubacila u pozamašnu organizaciju konferencije u New Delhiju s 2000 sudionika, i nemalo nakon toga pomogla organizirati još jednu, ovu o kojoj pričam, u FIFI – koja je prošla vrlo glatko.

KAPACITETI
Obim posla se iz konferencije u konferenciju povećava, odgovornosti su veće, no um sve mirniji, tijelo odmornije. Kako?

Razvijanjem kapaciteta. Profesionalnih dakako, ali i još nekih, možda manje vidljivih. Kako nisu svi profesionalci sve mirniji s tim što više znaju? Jer im um nije u miru. Kad ti je um u miru, kad te misli ne ometaju, fokus je oštar poput žileta.

Ne znam što radiš u životu, ako se osim pranja zubi i svakodnevnog tuširanja ne brineš i za ispiranje mozga. Upravo tako. Meditacijom, yogom, chantanjem se ispire um od svih tih impresija koje tako ljubomorno čuva…

Mislim da je danas takvo vrijeme, svijet se ubrzao, zahtjevi se povećali. Ako ne namjeravaš pasti u depresiju, ili imati sada već klasični slučaj burn out-a, sigurno radiš nešto da ti se poboljša kvaliteta života. Više odmaraš? Jedeš zdravije, baviš se vrtom, fizičkim aktivnostima?

FIZIKALA
Bila sam nedavno na EMS-u. To je ono kad te netko ušteka na struju, pa u 20 minuta obaviš fizičke aktivnosti dovoljno za tjedan dana. Tj. struja ti potiče mišiće, koji rade na n-tu potenciju. Nakon toga tjedan dana ne smiješ ništa raditi. Namijenjeno ljudima koji nemaju vremena za fizičke aktivnosti. Malo mi se pred kraj zavrtilo u glavi. Mislim da se čovjeku učinilo da možemo daleko više nego što smo mogle, kolegica i ja, izdržati te struje. Poslije sam se sjetila kako sam imala epileptički napad, pa mi je doktorica bila rekla da to nije prava epilepsija, nego da mi neuroni malo podivljaju kad se ne brinem o tome kako jedem, spavam i živim. Ipak ću se držati yoge, i nadam se u Hrvatskoj bicikliranja (ako budem imala vremena u svom super zaposlenom životu).

Trenutno mi je posao još uvijek takav da duugo sjedim u uredu, ali uskoro se možda promijeni. A morat ću ić’ i do dućana. Ovdje sve naručujem preko neta. Strah me što će me dočekati u Hrvatskoj. Ne živim u RH od 2013., sigurno se svašta promijenilo. Možda imaju online dostavu iz inozemstva, radi li paypal? Pitam se…

A onda me čeka i održavanje stana i kupovina namirnica, kuhanje…sve o čemu godinama nisam morala brinuti. Jadna, bit će mi baš teško. Hehe. Gdjegod da jesi, nosiš svoju glavu sa sobom (nadam se), tako da nema pretjerano velike razlike gdje se nalaziš. Na planeti nema raja, samo u glavi.

MRKVA
Stavila sam mrkvu u košaru u zadnjem blogu, a znam da je to jedino što vas sve zanima – sapunjara. Nakon toliko priča i pričica, je li moguće da se neka dobra juha kuha u Gordaninom ljubavnom životu. A nešto se kuha. Zapravo nisam ni shvatila da su svi sastojci već u loncu, i voda taman pred ključanje, a dragi je već bio otišao.

Najbolje stvari se ne prepoznaju odmah, čini mi se. Ispričat ću vam malu štoriju.

Jednog lipanjskog dana, vratila sam se iz lijepe naše u ashram, i susrela se s nekoliko novih volontera, za koje sam znala da dolaze, no nisam ih bila upoznala. Kad sam vidjela tada budućeg, a sada sadašnjeg, pomislila sam kako ne zatvara usta i kako mi gnjavi prijatelja, na simpatičan način. Istovremeno sam bila relativno nezainteresirana. Onda je dosta ljudi otišlo i nije ostalo puno ljudi za druženje. Stalno sam pokušavala pobjeći od njega, a istovremeno sam se nekako uvijek nalazila gdje i on, i išli bi tako u šetnje zajedno. Onda sam jedan dan odlučila da ćemo izaći van skupa, solo, misleći kako se više neće biti prilike družiti, jer mi je sestra Katina imala doći. Tada nisam imala pojma da će se dogoditi upravo suprotno.

Koliko god mi je znao u ashramu ići na živce, igrajući tu neku igru flerta, kada smo se sami makli iz kuće, iznenadila sam se koliko je zapravo bilo ugodno, bio je iskreniji i drag. Ja sam mu odmah nabacila štit, te mu nabrojala nekoliko stvari zašto mi nikada nećemo biti zajedno. Guruji kaže: čemu se opireš, to jača. I tako je i bilo. Kada je Katina došla, samo smo se družili još i više, pa nam se uskoro pridružio još jedan pajdaš. Nas četiri smo bili kao kakva čudesna četvorka, koja pije čaj, jede kekse i trača. Povremeno priča o znanju.

Kako smo skupa provodili svo slobodno vrijeme, tako smo i jedan slobodan dan otišli na cjelodnevno druženje u Offenburg. Tu se dogodilo nešto potpuno neočekivano. Već je bilo prošlo skoro i dva mjeseca otkada se družimo, a uistinu ni u jednom trenutku nismo osjetili trenutak potpune bliskosti. Svađali smo se u tom razdoblju, prepirali, ispričavali, ali nikad nismo osjetili nešto jače od površne igre flerta i zabavnog prijateljstva.

Tog dana, (ubaci romantični paragraf po želji), sve je bilo drugačije. Zanimljivo je bilo kako sam dvije noći ranije sanjala kako sam mu skuhala batate i onda smo plesali na livadi. I baš taj dan, sam mu stvarno skuhala batate (kod prijateljice doma sam kuhala ručak za svih), a kasnije smo se šetali po livadi uz jezero. Tog sna sam se sjetila tek naknadno. Krasno je biti vidovit, kad bi bar znao odmah što znači to što vidiš.

Da skratim, onda smo se muvali još par dana, već je morao otići. Rekli smo si par lijepih riječi, i pozdravili se – sretan puuut! Meni je sve nekako laknulo što je otišao, pa sam pomislila okej, sada će to kao i obično sve izblijediti, proći kao vjetar, tko zna hoću li ga više ikad vidjeti. Vrlo sam se brzo, prebrzo otkačila od njega.

I onda, iz dana u dan, dopisivali se, ja mu pisala pjesme, čuli se svaki dan, kovali imaginarne planove za budućnost, koji su se sada svi konkretizirali u neku stvarnost. Još ima oko mjesec dana prije nego što ćemo se susresti u Hrvatskoj. Tako sada stvari stoje. Kako će biti, ne znam. Imam konfliktne misli; svega me strah, a s druge strane sam totalno pozitivna da će sve biti savršeno.

Previše pišem odjednom, još bih, ali nemam više vremena, idem šutjeti 10 dana. Uživajte u jeseni i uživajmo u sadašnjosti, slavimo prošlost i veselimo se budućnosti.

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Twenty minutes until my first hammam massage. Just chilling by the pool. Outside it is approximately 20 degrees, a light breeze, high in the mountains where the sun is strong. No winter in here.

Where is it? A place called Dollenberg, a 5-star hotel in the middle of the Black Forest. I am going for this Turkish massage now, and then conclude the day with a few more meetings, strategic planning and similar things people do when working in a team. The morning started with meetings, the day was spent in chilling and will end in conclusions. Not bad! Well-deserved as well.

A week ago we concluded the 3rd conference on the topic of ethics and leadership in the sports context. Maybe some are not so interested in what it is that I do, amongst many things, but I will anyway tell you about it, because it is fun and enriches my life professionally and spiritually.

WSELS.ORG
The conference on the above topic was held at the home of football, FIFA. About 60 speakers and 200 delegates attended the event. One entire day there were many discussions on how sports became or was and still is a business, what business can learn from sports, and how to use sports to encourage changes in the world in general, and a few other good topics. There were all sorts of hot-shots, for that you need to click on the link in the sub-title and click around the page for a bit. What is my role in all this? I am the techie, technical support, text editor, web coordinator, social media content manager and executive. And all sorts of other stuff.

How am I professionally enriched by being a part of this team? Because we are a small team that is always aiming to achieve the impossible and reaching all the goals on a high level.

Spiritually? In the same way, we are a small team, but aim for the impossible. And we get there. Most of the time. Where is my growth? Well, it is not easy. We are not many, there is lots to do, and we are not the most professional for all the tasks, but the results are professional above average.

There is very little what we cannot do. But we also don’t bite in too hard, just a tiny bit less, to have a challenge.

All this happens under the not unimportant conductor’s baton or rather steering by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, some know him as Guruji, for me – my guru.

First year, after doing only one conference, I cried of exhaustion. The second year, after having no more and no less than three conferences one after another, I was tired, but immediately after taking a short rest period, there was a conference in New Delhi, with 2000 delegates, and very shortly after we started with this latest one at FIFA – that went very smoothly, with not much tiredness aftermath.

CAPACITIES
The amount of work is becoming more and more from conference to conference, responsibilities are more elaborate, but the mind is getting calmer, the body more rested. How?

Developing capacities. Professional capacities are developing, that is beyond doubt, and other kinds of capacities, less visible ones. How come that professionals do not become calmer with knowing more? Because their minds are not at peace. When your mind is at peace, when thoughts are not disturbing you, your focus becomes razor sharp.

I do not know what is it you do in your life, except dental hygiene, do you do mental hygiene? Meditation, yoga, chanting all helps enormously in brain washing – exactly, washing out all the impressions stuck in the mind.

I think the world today is going in that direction, everything is faster, demands are greater. If you have no intention of getting depressed, or have a now already classic burn-out episode, you must be doing something to uplift the quality of your life. You rest more? Eat healthier? You do gardening, physical activities?

GETTING PHYSICAL
I recently went for a n EMS session. That is the thing when you get plugged in, and do you’re a week’s worth of training in 20 minutes. Your muscles get electrically stimulated and you do simple workout. It is meant for people who do not have time for physical activity. At the end I got a bit dizzy. I think the guy assessed me and my colleague could do much more than we really could. Later it crossed my mind, I had a one-time epileptic attack, the doctor told me it was not real epilepsy, but more a case of neurones going hay wire when I don’t care about my food, proper sleeping and lifestyle in general. I will anyway stick to yoga, and hoping to cycle more in Croatia (if there will be time in my super busy life).

Right now my job is still more about long hours in the office, but soon this might change. But I’L have to go to the shop! So far I have been ordering everything online. I am scared of what I will find in Croatia. I have not lived there since 2013, a lot must have changed. Maybe they do have delivery from foreign countries, does pay pal work? I wonder…

Also, I will have to clean my apartment and buy groceries, and cook! Everything I did not have to care of for years. Poor me, it will be tough. Haha. Anyhow, wherever you go, you mind follows, so there is not much difference wherever you are. There is not heaven on earth, only in the head.

CARROT
I put a carrot in my basket in the last blog, and I know this is what you have all been waiting for – the soap opera. After so many short stories, is it possible that a saga is coming into play? It seems like the beginning of one, that is for sure. It started with the main characters separating. One had to travel to his country.

Best things are often not recognised at once. I will tell you a little story.

A beautiful June day, I returned from Croatia to the ashram, and met a few of the new volunteers, I knew they were there, but I had not met them before. When I saw my then future, now present guy, I thought how he speaks A LOT and how he is bothering a friend of mine, in a loveable way. At the same time, I was not interested at all. A lot of people had just left, and there were not many to hang out with. I tried to run away from him most of the time, but ended up being next to him, and going for walks together. One day I had decided we would go out together, as that will be the last time we are spending time together as my sister Katina was about to come. I had no idea then that it would be just the opposite.

However much he used to annoy me in the ashram, playing the flirt game, when we went out of the house, I was surprised how comfortable it felt to spend time together, how much more honest and nicer he seemed. I immediately shielded myself by telling him why we will never be together. Guruji says: what you resist, persists. That is exactly how it was. Once Katina was here, we started to spend more and more time together (him and me), then another buddy joined us. The four of us were like an incredible four, that drinks tea, eats cookies and gossips and sometimes talk about knowledge.

As we spent all our free time together, we used a day off together. Something completely un-expectable happened. It was already almost two months since we were spending time together, but in no moment was there really a moment of true intimacy. Before that day we fought, and had discussions, apologised to each other, but nothing more than a superficial game of flirting and fun friendship.

That particular day (insert romantic paragraph per wish), everything was so different. It is really interested how I dreamt two nights earlier how I made him sweet potatoes and we danced on a meadow. That day, I really made him sweet potatoes (I was making lunch for everyone at my friend’s house), and later we had a walk on a meadow next to a lake. I remembered the dream only later. It is lovely to be psychic, if only you woul immediately know what something means when you see it.

Long story short, we played around for a few days, and he already had to leave. We spoke a few nice words and said our goodbyes – bon voyaaaaage! I felt relief that he left, so I thought: okay, now this will fade away, swing by like the wind, who knows if I will even see him again? It took me not long, rather too short to get detached from him.

Then, day to day, we wrote to each other, I wrote him poems, he called me, we made imaginary future plans, that soon all became realistic. We are about a month from seeing each other in Croatia. That is the plan for now. How it will be, I don’t know. I have conflicting thoughts; afraid of everything, but at the same time totally positive that all will go well.

I have been writing too much, I would write more, but there is no more time, I am going into silence for 10 days. Enjoy the autumn and let us enjoy the present, celebrate the past and rejoice the coming future.